Quiet time - transcending borders

I’ve been feeling quiet lately.

These phases come and go periodically, and have done, for as long as I can remember.

Sometimes it lasts a couple days, usually it’s a week or two.

I feel at peace here, in the liminal space between realms.

My feet don’t always need to be on the ground,

to be in touch with reality.

That’s why I love physical expression. It allows me to channel feelings that I can’t yet put into words. It lets me quietly point at things, without breaking the silence.

I can share beautiful things that give me hope and fill me with wonder, even when I don't feel like speaking. A gentle nod towards a feeling, unconstrained by linguistic limits.

I can express things without uttering a word.

Create things, when I don’t want to be in my head.

Channel experiences that can be felt much easier than they can be understood.

There’s a world of thought and feeling flowing through me when I’m in a quiet phase, but trying to convey it feels like trying to catch a cloud. I can be at peace in my silence as I drift out of body, between realms, but trying to explain where I’ve been before I’m back to solid ground always causes resistance. A dissatisfaction with the fumbled words that barely scratch the surface.

I created so much beautiful work this year, not just the art I left on people’s skin, but the deep conversations and space I held for fellow humans, as they underwent transformations of body and soul.

These experiences are hard to put into words. It’s a profound out-of-body experience to guide a conversation, and gather glimpses of a person's soul. Holding a safe space for expression, channeling their energy until it begins to flow out of my own hand, in the now. I dissolve a little in these moments, my identity and stories wash away, and yet, as my ego crumbles, I feel deeply whole. An open sky that can hold the winds of expression. Impulsive brush strokes, followed by permanent lines of ink, etched into human skin, forever.

Every night, after coming home from the studio I’ll reflect on what transpired, and marvel at the magic of it all. It doesn’t make sense, in a logical way. I could explain the complex techniques by which I create artwork on the skin in a physical sense, but it would explain only 50% of whats happening. But that’s the point I'm getting at. Not everything needs to be understood by the mind. Doesn’t stop it from being real. And perhaps these types of experiences are more real than the physical stuff around us.

Intuition and impulse, connection to the ether that runs between and through all things. Is it still real if we can't see it, can't fully grasp it? All material things, including you and I, are just transient points in space and time. Everything you can see, touch, taste and hear will pass. But the conscious experience of these things, the way they make you feel, the sense of awareness that connects you to it all, this feels deeper than the physical realm. Consciousness. We get distracted by the noise of our mind, but the overseeing eye always remains open, even when clouds pass by.

Spending time here, drifting in the experience of existence, can lead to a feeling of misalignment with the chaotic rush of society. But over the years I’ve tried to make my peace with this sense of misalignment. At first, it can make you feel lost, out of touch. And I understand how disconcerting this can be, for yourself, and for those around you, while you quietly dissociate and drift. But I don’t think we should be so concerned. When we settle into it and allow ourselves to feel more deeply, a powerful sense of liberation emerges.

This life is much less physical, logical and concrete than we deceive ourselves into thinking. By keeping both feet planted firmly on the concrete path of society, at all times, aren’t we living somewhat blindly? What happens when we die? What happens when we dance, laugh, make love? I don’t believe for a second that these experiences are fully explained by the physical realm. There’s more to it. In these moments we are more than our physical bodies. In pure presence we dissolve and spread beyond the barriers that we thought marked our edges. An endless wave of conscious light, spreading through the clouds of stardust from which our physical world once took form. Endlessly flowing, illuminating the darkness.

Simultaneous with the rhythms of society, changing seasons and general human stuff we occupy ourselves with, we are also a part of the cosmos, inseparable from it all. So sometimes, whether it's for a few hours, days, or weeks, I think it’s ok to drift off a little, take some time to feel, and perhaps be a little quiet, while we transcend our borders.